Thursday, 30 October 2008

SouthWest One Savings - £60 million and rising!

"Great oaks from little acorns grow"




















An old home truth is proving itself in Somerset today.
Earlier in the week the founders of SouthWest One proudly unveiled realistic areas of target savings that will, ultimately, be of huge benefit to all residents by increasing efficiency and reducing council taxes. Already £60 million has been ear-marked, and the plans display enormous imagination and foresight. My picture shows the design for new toilets in council offices. Eagle-eyed watchers will note that there are no doors for the cubicles. This simple savings will cut the amount of time wasted in comfort breaks by 80%. Toilet tissue will also be rationed for staff use. Taken together these essential innovations will save an additional £10 million over the lifetime of the contract, or not as the case may be. Similar economies are also being contemplated in canteen areas for stricter portion control, and staff will be expected to share cutlery and crockery. The identification of such financially astute ideas is critical to the success of this joint venture. I know that everyone will join me in congratulating the team who have spent twelve months finding ways to save money without actually saving any yet.

4 comments:

Happy Taxpayer said...

That's over £300 off the Council Tax next Spring, so don't knock it.

Anonymous said...

there would be a further cost saving idea in this area, I came upon it in Kenya recently. If you wash your hands use the back of the jacket of the person infront of you to dry them - saves a fortune in electricity and paper towels.

Beyond Excellence said...

I for one am happy to take all these savings on trust for the time being, Alan. However as the person above suggests, you are allowing a dangerous level of expectation to build up in advance of the next Council Tax bills ...

Anonymous said...

Newspapers! - we have lots of newspapers delivered to County Hall and they are normally sent externally for recycling. Why not keep it in house? Cut it up and save on the toilet paper altogether. Another saving from beyond......